she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize