so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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