what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize