i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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