thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize