Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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