i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
True strength comes from lack of pants
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize