Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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