My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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