Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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