Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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