Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize