I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize