im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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