her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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