I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
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Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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