i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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