I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize