CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
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