Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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