There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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