Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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