did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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