i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
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Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
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When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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