I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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