I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize