She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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