i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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