Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.

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(405): The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it. (405): And before you ask they are unrelated purchases. http://tfl.nu/nz1r

Replies (14) Good night (2600) Bad night (413)
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(417): View more from Missouri

You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?

(573): View more from Missouri

You can't be serious.

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(417): You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right? (573): You can't be serious. http://tfl.nu/cmch

Replies (58) Good night (3179) Bad night (598)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.

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(504): That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy. http://tfl.nu/e23b

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(303): View more from Colorado

meet me or not, i'm out of control

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(303): meet me or not, i'm out of control http://tfl.nu/t1zj

Replies (29) Good night (3343) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
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(201): View more from New Jersey

so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?

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(201): so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA? http://tfl.nu/qz9z

Replies (23) Good night (4782) Bad night (1423) Order T-Shirt
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(+49): View more from Germany

This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.

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(+49): This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood. http://tfl.nu/u9vs

Replies (7) Good night (3720) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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(858): View more from California

It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.

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(858): It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain. http://tfl.nu/y8ei

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(518): View more from New York

Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!

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(518): Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!! http://tfl.nu/blny

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens

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(606): Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens http://tfl.nu/90cr

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(214): View more from Texas

My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.

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(214): My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/7yfd

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"

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(412): It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion" http://tfl.nu/m0wm

Replies (8) Good night (524) Bad night (1649)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.

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(703): Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything. http://tfl.nu/6ga5

Replies (12) Good night (2225) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.

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(612): I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name. http://tfl.nu/i0ig

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

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(402): I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me. http://tfl.nu/r02t

Replies (5) Good night (1566) Bad night (320)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight

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(902): Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight http://tfl.nu/n0ex

Replies (8) Good night (1063) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt

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