I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Can I color on your dick again?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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