i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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