Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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