1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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