So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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