And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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