whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
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i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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