Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is Oprah even human
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize