Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize