I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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