and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
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It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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