I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize