Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize