We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
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Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
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We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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