and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
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drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
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Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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