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What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
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