You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
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DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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