He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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