If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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