**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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