You're so nebulous sometimes
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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